Monday, August 20, 2012

1st Syawal :)


Assalamualaikum :) Jawab, jgn tk jawab. Haha tkdelah. Anyway, on our 1st day of Syawal, banyak benda nak kena buat. Banyak benda nak kena fikir. Tk semuanya tersedia perfectly. We have to work on it, betul tk? Mcm tu juga takdir, Allah tentukan segalanya utk kita. Tkknlah kita terima je? Yg buruk kita kena perbaiki, yg baik sentiasa dtg dariNya, betul tk? Angguk sikit? Haha.

First day raya ni agak sayu lah hati ni. Firstly, rindukan arwah atuk. Second, raya tanpa abah. Third, hati tk tenteram dri mulanya bulan Ramadhan. Forth, hati tk bahagia. Fifth, my life almost ruined tapi Ika berjaya kuatkan semangat :') alhamdulillah atas semua yg Allah kurniakan. Ika bersyukur, yg baik buruk Ika terima. Ika cuba, Ika buat, Ika decide, ini life Ika.

Heishh orang nak cerita pasal raya ni cerita pasal lain terus -.- Haihhh dah dah. :p Okay here! Awal subuh Ika bangun. dlm 6.30 mcm tu lah tk lah awal sgt. Soso. haha. Ika admit it, this is the first time Ika bangun awal seawal subuh, sbbkan nak sambut raya dgn family. And Ika pun kena temankan opah solat Aidilfitri. Haha first time k. Tklah batak sgt okayyyy just be normal kid. hahaha. Ika happy, Ika sedih. Yes I am. Bermcm perasan ade bila jejak kaki ke masjid. Nak happy, tapi nak sedih pun ade. Dgr takbir raya, air mata degil nak keluar tapi hati lagi kuat degilnya. Hahaha sabar jelah. Then mata terpaksa tahan kt situ. Diam kau kt situ. hahaha

Raya tahun ni meriah mcm biasa tapi lagi meriah dekat belah abah. Sbb diorg sporting and more to the jokes. Belah umi tk sgt. Diorg pun tk ramai sgt kt rumah opah. Just kiteorg and Pak Ngah's family. Esok, raya kedua baru diorg berkumpul mcm biasa. Masa kt rumah wan lagi beshhhh. hihi sbb diorg semua ade kecuali Pak Uda and Cik Yin. Hihi it's okay. We still have a days left. We still have a chance to beraya with them. Nanti 8 September kiteorg ade buat open house. Ramaiiiii nak jemput ni. Excited!

Emm, okayy dah byk sgt bebel kt sini smpai tk letak pun gmbr. Hoho gmbr semua buruk. Hahaha I mean, mine.. Kalau beramai okaylah but kalau sorg tu asyik blur .___. and the rest, semua dlm handphone, dlm instagram, dlm twitter so tgklah sendiri k. haha ni dlm camera DSLR so it's easy for me to upload here. Dlm iPhone, susah nak masuk sini. Because iPhone is a bit complicated :) hanya iPhone users je tahu mcm mana. Haha so ape ape Ika masuk kt twitter ;) Dun worry k!



May Allah bless all of us. :) Alhamdulillah for everything, ya Allah :')) I am so grateful for having this chances to spend the precious time :') The end~~

Opss, there's no ending for this moment. Wait for the next posts, huh darling? ;) InsyaAllah see you there! xoxo
Thanks for reading. xoxo

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Being good, is not a good enough.


Assalamualaikum. Harini 26 Ramadhan eh? Alhamdulillah. Hopefully amal ibadat semua diterima. Anyway, Ika makin lama makin sedih.. Makin lama makin hancur. Ika tk tahulah ape nak jadi dah. Ape pun Ika redha setiap ape yg Allah kurniakan dlm hidup ni. Ika harap sgt Ika tk merungut. Setiap hari, ape yg Ika lalui, hati Ika hancur sikit demi sedikit.. Ika tk tahu kenapa hati Ika cepat tawar, cepat nak hancur. Very sensitive.. Ika langsung tk reti nak pretend depan diorg.. Kalau Ika tk suka, Ika tunjuk. Kalau Ika benci that thing, Ika tunjuk.. Well, I don't have to be pretend, kan? Ika tk minta lebih dri memahami setiap ape Ika buat, ape Ika minta.. Ika tk minta duit korang, Ika just minta korang faham Ika. Tk salah kan? Tk berat mana kan permintaan Ika tu? Tapi kenapa ni korang balas kt Ika? Ya Allah, jika ini jalan yang Kau kurnia kan untuk melihat diri ku lebih baik dari dulu, aku redha.. Aku tahu ape yg terbaik utk ku :')

Last night, is a horrible night ever.. Silap Ika, Ika mulakan dulu.. I shouldn't say anything. I have to keep silent and biarkan ape jadi.. Diam and biarkan orang pijak kepala. That's what I should do.. Ika tkde niat langsung nak sakitkan hati sesape. Ika jauhkan diri ade sebab. Sometimes I just need to be myself when I'm being alone. Susah nak faham? Ya Allah, kenapa smpai mcm ni sekali? Kenapa susah sgt diorg nak faham Ika? Setiap ape Ika buat? Everything happens for a reason, hanya Allah je yg tahu.. Tapi setiap ape Ika buat, I know ape sebabnya.. Cukup sekadar diri Ika tahu. Cukup Allah je tahu kenapa Ika buat semua tu.. Semua yg orang buat kt Ika, Ika cuba think positive.. Ika cuba amik yg jernih, buang yg keruh. Ika tk tahu ape lagi nak buat selain fikir positive. Bila Ika sorg sorg, tkde benda lain Ika nak fikirkan selain dri ni.. PMR nak dekat, makin lama makin stressed. I lost everything... Tapi syukran, Ika tk kehilangan kasih sayang seorang ibu, seorang kakak, adik and kucings Ika :') Ika bersyukur sgt diorg still ade lagi utk Ika. Diorg stay no matter what happens on me.. Mungkin.. lebih baik Ika bahagia dgn keluarga dripd org luar, kan? :')


That's all I can do..
Thanks for reading. xoxo

Friday, August 10, 2012

Patiently wait for happiness.


Assalamualaikum. 9 days left.. until Ramadhan coming to the end, and Syawal is coming to celebrate the winning. Ya Allah, why the time flies too fast? Ika tk berkesempatan nak enjoy lamalama dlm bulan Ramadhan ni. Ya Allah, Ika harap ini bukan Ramadhan terakhir bagiku. Ya Allah, bagi lah aku peluang sekali lagi untuk sempurnakan ibadah aku sepenuhnya. Amin ~ :)

Anyway, I just want to share something about... the day I going through.. Sepanjang Ramadhan ni, Ika tk pernah rasa mcm ni. Rasa sunyi sgt.. rasa lost something.. Ika gelisah, Ika keliru, Ika tk tahu nak buat ape. Ika asyik termenung, entah ape benda yg Ika fikirkan. I don't even wanna know.. Ika cuba cari ape yg Ika nak sebenarnya, tapi tk terkata... kebahagiaan Ika... dgn family.. dgn umi? Ya Allah, tulis ni pun Ika tk tahu lah.. I don't get it, what's wrong with me? :( I'm lost, down and turn into nothing... Raya ni, tah bahagia ke tidak.. Abah raya kt Mekah, nak pergi jalan sana sini tkde mood... Entah ape Ika nak sebenarnya Ika tk tahu. Kenapa Ika mcm ni? Mcm tk bersyukur je. Ya Allah, ampunilah aku :( Kerana bersikap mcm ni.. Ika sendiri tk faham kenapa Ika tetiba jadi mcm ni.. Emo semacam... Ika tk nk fikir psl benda dh lepas, Ika tknk ungkit. Ika tk nk gaduh, Ika tk nk sedihsedih, Ika tk nk peningkan kepala fikirkan semua ni, Ika tk nak bazirkan masa, hati, air mata kerana benda yg tk pasti! Ika tk nk! Ika nak lupakan semua tu, Ika nak buang jauhjauh. Ika tk nk cari masalah lagi dgn semua ni. Ika yg bagi peluang, Ika yg kena so pandaipandailah tanggung :') Hm. Tkpelah. I'm strong! And umi jadi penguat semangat Ika! ;)

Bermacam kenderaan yg kita ade, tkde satu pun yg boleh tolong kita balik pada masa lampau. The past is the past. There's no point we keep it in our life.. Biarlah dia berlalu mcm tu :) Amik yg jernih, buang yang keruh. Hihi. Tapi, bukan senang nak buang jauhjauh, kan? Benda tu selalu ade. Hunting us, in midnight. It is horror movie ever in our life. Mistakes, is the part thing in our life! We're human, and we live our life with all mistakes which can be our good teacher. Kesilapan lepas teach us to be more mature. Just try to be good, be better than this. Okayyy? Hahaha ni lah yg selalu Ika buat. Bagi katakata semangat dkt orang sbb Ika tahu diorg need it most. And so do I :) Ika mmg perlukan katakata semangat. Sometimes bila tkde org nak bagi, Ika buat sendiri. Dlm notes, dlm diary, dlm tweet. Hehehe :p
Thanks for reading. xoxo

Thursday, August 9, 2012

I'm done.


Assalamualaikum, hola alohaaa, hello, good evening! Hahaha semua ade. I think dah lama tk blogging, kan? Err lama ke? Hahah baru a few weeks tk berceloteh. Hahaha. Anyway, kenapa orang cakap, "Kau tu untunglah, kaya, dpt ape je." and some of them, "You're veryyyyy lucky :(" "Duhh, tk reti hargai ape kau ade skrg?" Hoiiiii, you're not living in my shoes so just keep quiet!!!! Kalau awak ade kt tmpt saya, what would you do? :( Buat ape dok dlm keadaan mewah but hati tk senang? Seriously... Mmg lah syok dpt shopping sana sini, dpt pakai iPhone, dapat iPad, dapat pc, dapat camera.... tapi tk semua yg kita idamkan, ade depan mata. Before awak nak cakap saya mewah, senang, goyang kaki pe bagai, check dulu how my life looks like. OKAY?!?! haaa ni mak jemah nak marah niiii. hahaha. Bukan tksuka bila orang mendoakan kita, tapi entahlah... I'm not one of the rich people lah... seriously, Allah je maha Kaya. Me? Just His servant. Hidup, Allah yg tentukan. Nasib, hidup, semua dekat tanganNya :) Kita cuma mampu berdoa jelah. Ask for a good things. Jangan benda tk baik pula -.- hahaha. Okay, actually it is out of the blue -.- err

The point I'm blogging today is about how free I am right now. But not really, just a.... bit. Emm, tahlah. Haish hati ni nak kata happy tk juga, nak kata senang tk juga. :/ Gelisah? Hmm not really... Alhamdulillah setiap ape yg Allah bagi :) I just can't stop grateful with Him. 'Cause still give me a chance to live my life with my family, especially, umi :') Tkleh bayangkan mcm mana hidup tanpa umi. Haish. Anyway, baru je habis trial exam for PMR. seriously, semua susah. Hmmmm BM BI MATHS SC :((( tkpelah, I will try harder than this ;) insyaAllah. Hihihik.


Hahaha calon PMR 2012 ^ _ ^ insyaAllah, I will make my mum proudly say "That's my girl!!" Hihihi. Pray for me please! thanks, sayangs!

P.S: I'm gonna forget about him, forever. He's not mine. And won't be. He will never come back since I know what's he had done to me. ;) Thanks to Allah 'cause give me a clues! Alhamdulillah, for everything...
Thanks for reading. xoxo