Our new life begin...

Assalamualaikum :) rasanya Ika tk terlambat nak wish Salam Maal Hijrah kan? :') ya Allah cepatnya masa berlalu.. Dah masuk awal Muharram and Ika rasa bersyukur teramat pd-Mu ya Allah, sbb still lg breathing and ade peluang untuk hidup di muka bumi Allah ni :') alhamdulillah...

Ika tkde masa nak update blog yelah tkde laptop dah skrg ni. Laptop umi beli tu dh bg ayie pakai. Tkpelah. Ni pun update guna iPhone. Kecik. Hahah tkpe. Ika sedih baca tweet kawankawan kt twitter psl Palestin kena serang lagi. Allahuakbar. :(( masyaAllah.. Ika terdiam and nangis tgk gmbr baby kena bom sana sini. Allah :'( Ika tk mampu nk tgk lg and Ika berdoa je pd Allah. Tu je yg Ika boleh tolong. Tolong doakan kesejahteraan diorg dan tempatkn diorg di syurga-Mu ya Allah :'))) aameen. Insya-Allah :') dunia dh nak akhir zaman. Mcm mcm dh jadi. Manusia skrg tkde hati perut. Tk fkir perasaan orang lain. Allahuakbar :'(( sedihnya tgk diorg mcm ni.... Semoga diorg dpt jumpa jalan kembali. Aameen~

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I keep wishing. Couldn't help myself stop wishing..

Assalamualaikum..

First nak tnye, did I look so cruel? Haizzz kenapa rasa bersalah gila nak mati ni? Hahaha setiap kali being alone rasa mcm ... non stop thinking about the past. Entahlah I've no idea why. Wish to turn back time lah :/ Tapi ya Allah, berdosanya aku menolak takdir tu semua :'( Sedangkan Allah dah aturkan semua untuk aku. Kebahagiaan yg sementara in the beginning but not in the end :/ I've always hoping and wishing that I'm strong enough to walk away and act like nothing happen :( But why when I see she's being happy while me.... Ya Allah :(( Bimbingilah aku, ya Allah... Bawa kan lah aku ke jalan-Mu yang semestinya jalan kebahagiaan yg aku tk dpt bayangkan. Ya Allah, hanya Kau sahaja dapat membahagiakan aku walaupun bukan di sini tapi di hari akhirat nanti ya Allah. Berikanlah hidayah setiap jalan yg aku pilih sekiranya itu salah atau betul. Membetulkan lah ape yang salah. :( Cara tu je yg dpt bahagiakan Ika :( Praying.. Have a faith in Allah.. Put trust and high hopes on Him :') and I know, Dia tkkn menghampakan aku.

Ika tkde tempat nak mengadu sbnrnya. I've no close friend anymore. Semua salah Ika, I know eventho she's deny it. I know she mad with me. And I guess I'm mad at her, too. Kinda complicated in this friendship. What I need is she's fight for me not just let me go with my stupid decision. Tapi semua dah terlambat. I can't make myself seems so weak in front of them. Okay ego is still ego. Ergh!! Kinda hate myself for now :(((( I lost everything. My laugh, happiness and everything!! Just because of my ego!

Okay Ika rasa should stop talking about the past and make a new step to think about future :) Hehe. About searching Prince in my life, lol. Stop it okay hahahah. Ika tk patut cari dulu. 'cause biarlah Allah je yg berada di hati Ika. Kalau Ika lupakan-Nya, Ika lupa segala-gala. Ika tk nk jadi mcm dlu :((( Allah, Nabi Muhammad, family :') Tu je yg tertulis dlm diari Ika, dlm hati Ika :')) Tkde seorang pun boleh Ika percaya selain daripd family Ika sendiri. Ika sedar, family jelah satu satu yg kita boleh percaya. Walau byk mana kita gaduh, kita benci kt diorg ke ape ke, lamalama ke mereka juga kita balik :') Kan? Hihi I do love my familyyyyyyy. Ika akan cuba fight pertahankan cinta keluarga :')) Walau mcm mana sekali pun.

P.S: Semoga hari yang mendatang lebih bermakna dari hari sebelum. :')

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Ketabahan seorang wanita..

Assalamualaikum..

Bismillah.. Dari segi physically, kaum Adam yang paling kuat. Kuat angkat tu ini, kuat dalam segala-galanya. Kaum Hawa pula dipandang remeh, semua igtkn kaum Hawa tk mampu buat semua tu mcm mana kaum Adam buat. Tapi jangan lah pandang rendah terhadap kekuatan mentally seorang wanita. Dari ape yg Ika studying, wanita lebih kuat berbanding lelaki. Perempuan kuat dari segi mentally. Memang physically, they not. Tapi mentally, insya-Allah diorg kuat. Ika pun bukanlah nak kata Ika kuat tapi alhamdulillah Ika belum lagi stress ke tahap mental problem, hopefully jangan lah sampai mcm tu sekali. Dah lemah iman tu. Ika bukanlah nak kata Ika baik tapi insya-Allah Ika akan cuba sedaya upaya. For them nor for people around me.. I've some interesting story to told.

Dugaan mcm mcm dtg. Tapi yg datang tu ibarat hadiah dari Allah. Yes it is. Dugaan berat ataupun ringan. Sekuat mana pun kita, kita kena juga harungi. Sebab dugaan yg Allah bagi tu ibaratkan sumber pahala dan sumber keberkatan hidup. Kalau dugaan yg dtg ni tk beri pengajaran, kita tkkn rasa rendah diri. Kita tkkn rasa bahagia. Ika redha setiap apa yg Allah beri. Ika tahu Allah sayangkan Ika and rindukan Ika. Dia rindu utk dengar Ika nangis, mengadu pada-Nya. Ya Allah, begitu besar sifat penyayang-Mu.. Tapi Ika je yang tk hargai selama ni. Sometimes I wonder, Allah terimakah ampun ku ini? Kuatkan iman, percaya pada-Nya :') Insya-Allah..

Ika baru je selesaikan masalah yg byk tangguh. Alhamdulillah Ika reda and relived sesangat even tho it's still burn me and destroy everything... Ika percaya banyak lagi masa Ika untuk jadi seorang wanita yg paling bahagia. Walaupun Ika tahu bilabila masa je Allah boleh tarik nyawa ni.. So for yg ade masa ni Ika amik peluang utk happy dgn-Nya and dgn family Ika :') Insya-Allah.. Ya Allah... semoga aku sentiasa berada didakapan-Mu, Ya Allah... Hanya Kau sahaja yang mampu menggembirakanku :')

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Nothing is worse than being ignored..

Heyyy guys. How y'guys doin? Great? Hope so. Actually, I've no interesting story to be told but I guess I need some place and time to get alone but in the same time rasa mcm stressed out and feel like um entahlah. Susah nak describe. Deeply killing me inside. Hm. Feel so lonely and nothing else I can do. Feel lonely and need somebody doesn't mean I need a partner, no way! I still young and still have enough time to think about it. Well what I mean is, friends? Just friends? A friend, a person who I can talk to, who I can sharing my problems to. Well I guess no one could be like that, don't you? No one likes me, yah. I admit it I'm awful, terrible, suck and whateverhell it is... Stress. that's what I feel right now..

I'm waiting for a perfect moments to be a perfect things in my life. I'm not looking up for a perfect person to treat me well. I just need somebody to talk to! Yes that's what I meant..

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Say Hi to November.

Hey there, assalamualaikum guys :) It's already November. So hi there! Hm masuk je bulan November ni terus rasa berdebar. Waiting for another step to live. Cuti sekolah, 2 months. Then buka balik and say Hello to new life, form 4's life. Well I guess, Ika dah puas dgn form 3's life Ika ni kan? Puas dgn dugaan, air mata and segala yg Ika hadapi setiap hari. Ape yg Ika ckp kt previous post seems too immature lah. I feel like I still a kid. Tk matang and memalukan. Hm can I change everything?

Actually tujuan Ika nak tulis kt blog ni is about how myself looks like. It's terrible lah.. Ika betulbetul rasa mcm Ika ni hipokrit gila. Skrg ni dah byk sgt Ika tinggal solat and tk tunduk pada Allah. Kenapa ni? Kenapa tetiba nak berubah mcm tu sekali, ya Allah? Ika byk kali nasihat kt diri sendiri and marah and ask myself, "WHY YOU BEING LIKE THIS IKA?!?! Malunya" I feel like urghhh! And I'm being fake and ego. Depan orang Ika tunjuk Ika baik. Cakap dgn family baik padahal belakang Ika kasar bgai nak mati. Ika panas baran dgn family but bila depan orang, I'm being so nice and errghhh apekahh ini?!?!?!??! damn I hate myself. Sometimes I wonder, ni hasutan syaitan atau diri Ika sendiri?!? I get confused and blank with all these. Ini ke Ika yg sebenar? Hipokrit, berlakon, pretending and being so fake depan orang ramai? Tolonglah, Ika nak berubah.... Ika tkde sape nak cerita dah sebenarnya. But I know posting here wont change everything unless I get my butt off and take another step to change. InsyaAllah Ika akan cuba sedaya upaya nak berubah jadi baik untuk umi, family semua.. And for everyone.

Masalah Ika dgn Maira still tergantung mcm tu. Tkpelah Ika consider it as our end.. :)

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