Assalamualaikum.

Firstly nak ckp.. Opah dah pergi tinggalkan kiteorg, tinggalkan Ika.. :'( Mmg opah sakit. Mmg a week before opah terlantar, Ika just expect/harap opah dpt sihat balik sbb before this opah pernah sakit mcm ni. Tp tk sangka arwah opah terus pergi, utk selama-lamanya. Rasa tk percaya. Ika baru tanam hasrat nak berpuasa sama-sama, berbuka sama-sama, solat sama-sama. Tinggal niat, tinggal kenangan je skrg ni. Ya Allah.. Aku betulbetul rindukan dia :( 26 June 2013. Moga Allah tempat opah di kalangan yg beriman & dpt jumpa atuk kt sana..

Gambar ni dua hari sebelum opah meninggal. Hari Isnin. Opah meninggal hari Rabu. Ika dpt tahu dri umi sebelum subuh. Opah meninggal dlm 5 pagi mcm tu. Opah mmg kt rumah maklong since dia sakit. Meninggal pun kt situ. Family maklong lah yg jaga. Kak long, my cousin kan nurse so she know everything about health. So kiteorg lega lah ade juga seorang saudara yg tahu bab-bab mcm ni. Masa kak long check dia masa subuh tu, terus maklong call umi and said "Mak dah tkde.." umi terus masuk bilik and kejut semua bgtahu berita buruk ni. Dlm keadaan mamai mcm ni, byk kali tanya, betul ke? dah betul check? 100% sure? Rasa tk percaya langsung! seriously. Rasa mcm dia ade lg. Smpai skrg rasa kehilangan dia. Even Ika nk sedapkan hati orang sekeliling. Ika ckp yg Ika dah okay padahal Ika rasa kehilangan, sunyi, sepi. :(

Ika rindu opah. Ika nak sgt spend time lg ngn opah. Ika terkilan sgt sbb tk selalu jumpa opah, jaga opah dgn baik. Patutnya Ika selalu dtg tgk opah. Opah sorang-sorang kt rumah selalu. Ika rindu opah :(

P/S: Doakan utk arwah ye? Al-fatihah..

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More stronger.

Assalamualaikum wbt, buat hamba-hamba Allah yg dikasihi sekalian. Cehhh ade mcm Prof. Muhaya tk? Hihik. Alhamdulillah Allah SWT beri Ika peluang lg sekali utk teruskan hidup, utk terus bangkit and fight for life. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. Dah ade peluang hidup pun dah ckup bg Ika. Sbb peluang tu susah nak dapat. So I have to use it for good benefit. Hee~

Alhamdulillah, dgn segala keperitan, dugaan yg Allah turunkn buat Ika, buat sekeluarga, Ika dpt jdkn pengajaran and belajar dri kesilapan. InsyaAllah, Ika kuat. Kekuatan ni pun dtg dri yg Maha Esa. Alhamdulillah for everything, ya Rabb.

Mmg tk dpt nafikan, tk semua yg kita lalui kita mampu berdiri sorang-sorang. Tapi kalau kita yakin pada Allah SWT, yakin yg Dia akan tentukn yg lebih baik, insyaAllah you will be more stronger ;) Dulu mmg Ika tk expect Ika akn sekuat ni. Kalau ikutkn Ika mmg lemah gila-gila tahap maximum ni. Hahah. Tp alhamdulillah, dgn adenya Allah di sisi, Ika tkkn lemah lagi, insyaAllah. Selagi Ika yakin pada-Nya, pegang pada janji-Nya, pada takdir-Nya ;') insyaAllah!! Hehe.

So, why shld I lose everything and feel so bad? Yg dah lepas tu lepas k? Ika nak move on! Haaa nmpk tk semangat ni kuat? hahah.

P/S: Tiba-tiba terigt dkt org jauh. Hmm. Tkpelah, he's veryyyyy fine without me. ;)

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Better way.

Assalamualaikum wbt.
Bismillahirrahmannirahim..

Since I became more 'jahat'. lol jahat? hahah entahlah. Feel so bad and rasa I shouldn't be here and stop hurting them. Committed sin, mistakes, is a part of our life, kan? :( I'm not wishing to be perfect but at least be good to them. Tapi.. Ya Allah, susah nak describe.

Okay here we go. I'm really sorry what I've done. Honesty, I shouldn't do this to you. I'm trying to clarify one thing for you, for us to make our friendship makin kuat mcm dulu but seems makin Ika tarik, makin jauh menolak. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I should be blame on. Ika janji Ika tkkn kacau hidup korang. Salah Ika, silap Ika sendiri buatkan kita jd mcm ni. Tp hari-hari kita kena berdepan. Ika tkde pilihan lain. Ika tk nk susahkan umi pindahkan Ika, hanya sbbkn benda kecik ni. It's hard for me to maintain our friendship. Unless I'm not changing at all. Ika terpaksa terima takdir ni dgn rela hati. Walaupun bukan kehendak Ika.

I know sepanjang kita kawan, kita susah, senang, lagilagi saat gaduh lah ape lah I look so immature. I'm sorry k! I will try to fix my mistakes! InsyaAllah, it will be good, next time!

P/S: missing the old someone, won't make you feel good or even better. Keep moving on and you will found a better ones.

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Assalamualaikum wbt.

Ika rasa Ika tk dpt nak ubah semuanya hanya nak kejar kebahagiaan Ika sorang. Rasa mcm Ika ni terlalu selfish. Tk tahula. Ika confused sgt. Ika cuba nak perbaiki tapi nmpk mcm Ika makin rosakkan lagi semua ni. Ika tk mampu kembalikan diri Ika yg dulu and tk mampu nak kembalikan kawan Ika yg dulu. Tkpelah. Mungkin bukan jodoh Ika nak ade kawan baik mcm dia lagi.

Bukan psl ni je Ika fikirkan. Byk lagi. Tapi ckuplah hanya Allah je tahu. Buat ape nak cerita, hebohkan kt semua orang. Diorg hanya mampu dgr tp tk mampu selesaikan. Byk lg nk kena fikirkan, settlekan baikbaik. One more thing. Ika rasa Ika belum ckup baik utk berhijrah. Ya Allah.. selalu fkr mcm ni. Not good enough to be muslimah. Haih.

Have you ever feel this way? Never good enough to change everything.

Sekian short post Ika ni.


P/S: My cousin, if officially married! Hee congrats! May Allah bless you and your wife! ^^ Barakallah. xx

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