Sebelum ni Ika emo gila mcm orang ape je. Haha meroyan. Tapi now alhamdulillah Ika okay. Angah ade cakap, kalau kita kecik hati ngn someone tu, dah kira berdosa sbb syaitan menghasut kita supaya think negative towards them. Ika rasa menyesal pula. I suppose to be patient and take a deep breath. Or just ignore them kan? Ika tkde hak nak halang Maira kawan dgn sape. K now I'm straight! Ika tkde hak sikit pun nak halang dia dgn sape. Yes I do. Ika terikutkan perasaan smpai mcm ni sekali. I've hurt her by tweeting ergh asdfghjkl. K Ika ade perasaan yesss Ika ade but tk fikir ke perasaan dia?!!?! damn it's totally bsht. Haih dah Ika, istghfar skrg! Hahaha. Ika selalu pujuk hati Ika sendiri yelah tkde spe nak pujuk lagi dah.
Well, what makes you feel better? Be close to Allah, of course! I'm trying and keep go on to do that until my last breath. I shld be close to Him without any doubt. Allah je yg mampu faham aku. Allah maha Adil and Memahami setiap yg berlaku sbb skrg ni semua diaturkan oleh-Nya. Ika tk mampu nak tolak, Ika tk mampu nak nafikan semua ni. Ika tk sekuat tu.. Ika redha and sabar dgn ape yg berlaku. Ika nak train diri ni supaya lebih sabar and stop depend on people. Ika kena berusaha hidup tanpa orang tu semua. Kalau someone tk chemistry ngn Ika, you shld let go, kan? :') Hm. Even dia yg Ika sayang sgt but we shld let them go. Tk guna kalau dia stay tapi dua dua tk happy, kan? Ika kena fikir luas, dalam and jauh. Ika patut fikir sedalam-dalamnya. Yea I should :D Tah lah but it works! Bgtahu the positive things pada diri sendiri pun jadi, kan? Pujuk diri sendiri supaya tk bermusuh dgn orang. Ika maybe akn minta maaf dgn dia, or shld make a surprise for her birthday? Haha tanda minta maaf. And Ika maybe tkkn rapat mcm dulu. Ade sebab kenapa Ika pilih kolej jauh jauh. sbb nak jauh sikit ngn dia. Ika nk rasa rindu ngn dia. Ika nak rasa mcm .... tk boleh hidup tnpa dia. Tu sbbnya. Sememangnya boleh amik kt KL, course tu pun ade kt mana mana tapi saje amik jauhjauh. Nak tgk dia cari Ika ke tk :)
I've no idea why I shld bring it in a big deal. Sedangkan benda tu kecik je. Jealouskan dia sbb dia cari pengganti Ika. Yelah sape tk terasa, kan? Tapi fikirkan balik salah Ika. Hm nak Ika cerita tk dari awal? Jom jom hahah
On ... hm I'm not sure when it is but awal tahun lah these things happen. You know that Maira ade masalah kaki, kan? Dia jatuh masa kiteorg form 2, last year, with me. Smpai bilabila tkkn ingt mcm mana kiteorg masa tu. Nasib baik Ika tkde pape just shocked and kena sakit jantung lah juga. It's really a disaster... I shldn't let her go jalan sendiri.. Dia turun dulu but then me.. Okaylah stop psl tu. Ye dia ade masalah tulang lutut dia. I was worried about her. I try to ask her to get some rest, go home and rest. But she refuses to. Dia nak stay masa balik smpai lah Ika naik kereta baru dia balik rumah. (she walking back home) but then Ika terasa hati sbb tk nk dgr ckp Ika. Oh fine then boleh ckp lah Ika ni tk matang benda kecik dah jadi besar. Ika cuba lari dari dia. Just to make sure she come back to pujuk me or whatever. Okay honesty I expect she to do that but she didn't. Oh okay lah masa tu. Then she having a crush on someone. I'm happy for her masa tu tapi bila Sha, my classmate said budak tu playboy and suka main main and not getting serious in relationship, I told Maira about this. And try to save her from that freaking boy. I'm not dodge her for falling in love. I just don't want her to be like me. I can't stand to see she's getting hurt and I'm making stories.. Stories about I dreamt about her and her crush getting together and forget about. I know it's bad thing but I have to!!! Ika tk nk dia lari dri Ika, and yes Ika takut dia mcm tu. And for the same time Ika tk nk dia terluka dgn lelaki mcm tu!!! I'm expect her to understand what I'm trying to do :( And next thing, masa kokurikulum that boy knew that she's likes him. And she cried. I'm with her that time. Ika pujuk dia and try to figure out what should I do next. Then she said she's already forget him in few days after that.. And yea she said she fell in love with that boy 'cause she want to me to pay attention to her since I've been ignore her for a while.. :( Sht. That time I feel like, " Y U NO COMING BACK AND PUJUK ME??!?!" hahaha she's expect nothing about me masa tu :( Mmg lah tk semua boleh faham kita. Okay forget about that part. Next! I'm changed! Since abah suka berceramah kt kiteorg psl agama, Ika terikut cara abah. Ika cuba nak ubah diri Ika ni yg asyik lupakan Allah. Ika byk belajar ilmu agama and sejarah Islam. Dulu tk lah amik important psl P. Islam :( Hm stuppido Ika! Then I changed. Ika ajak Maira pakai tudung. Ika nak tgk dia pakai sama mcm Ika. Keluar mana mana, amik gmbr pakai tudung. Tutup aurat. And Ika dpt tahu kalau kita tk tutup aurat, segala amalan yg kita buat; solat, puasa, sedekah semua tk diterima melainkan kita dah solat taubat terlebih dahulu. Ika tahu pun through twitter and facebook. Ika nasihatkan dia, salah ke? Tahlah masa tu Ika tk igt sngt mcm mana Ika boleh smpai tergaduh ngn dia. Maybe Ika mulakan dulu ckp kt twitter. Hm mmg Ika mcm budakbudak, kan? I know it's coming from my own fault. Ika yg mcm kebudak-budakkan ni buatkan Maira merana. Yes I know how she feels. Lagi dia terasa lagi Ika buat. Stupid lah Ika! Ika byk minta maaf. But now rasa malu 'cause I made thousand mistakes, and apologizing for a thousand times. It such as idiot lah. I know malu malu tk perlu ade kalau nak minta maaf. And now she's already found my replacement. Dulu mmg dia rapat but now baru Ika terpandang cara ke-rapat-an diorg. Hahaha takpelah. Biarlah dia bahagia drpd kawan ngn Ika. I'm idiot! Ika tk patut ade kawan. Ika tk reti menghargai semua tu.
Panjang lebar Ika tulis dah ni. Hahaha mengarut-ngarut. hopefully she could forgive me.. :) Segala ape yg kita lalui ni dugaan. Ape Ika buat kt Maira, tu dugaan Maira. Ape Maira buat kt Ika, tu dugaan Ika. Allah bagi sama rata. Allah Maha Adil, note that! He won't let us to be happy always sbb nnt kita ketinggalan tanggungjawab kita sebagai hamba-Nya. Kalau kita happy for all the time, kita tkkn rasa derita, sedih ni semua. Jadi sentiasa lah bersangka baik pada Allah dan pemberian-Nya. Hihihk see dah mcm ustazah. Hahahah hopefully lah :D hihi
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