Assalamualaikum..
First nak tnye, did I look so cruel? Haizzz kenapa rasa bersalah gila nak mati ni? Hahaha setiap kali being alone rasa mcm ... non stop thinking about the past. Entahlah I've no idea why. Wish to turn back time lah :/ Tapi ya Allah, berdosanya aku menolak takdir tu semua :'( Sedangkan Allah dah aturkan semua untuk aku. Kebahagiaan yg sementara in the beginning but not in the end :/ I've always hoping and wishing that I'm strong enough to walk away and act like nothing happen :( But why when I see she's being happy while me.... Ya Allah :(( Bimbingilah aku, ya Allah... Bawa kan lah aku ke jalan-Mu yang semestinya jalan kebahagiaan yg aku tk dpt bayangkan. Ya Allah, hanya Kau sahaja dapat membahagiakan aku walaupun bukan di sini tapi di hari akhirat nanti ya Allah. Berikanlah hidayah setiap jalan yg aku pilih sekiranya itu salah atau betul. Membetulkan lah ape yang salah. :( Cara tu je yg dpt bahagiakan Ika :( Praying.. Have a faith in Allah.. Put trust and high hopes on Him :') and I know, Dia tkkn menghampakan aku.
Ika tkde tempat nak mengadu sbnrnya. I've no close friend anymore. Semua salah Ika, I know eventho she's deny it. I know she mad with me. And I guess I'm mad at her, too. Kinda complicated in this friendship. What I need is she's fight for me not just let me go with my stupid decision. Tapi semua dah terlambat. I can't make myself seems so weak in front of them. Okay ego is still ego. Ergh!! Kinda hate myself for now :(((( I lost everything. My laugh, happiness and everything!! Just because of my ego!
Okay Ika rasa should stop talking about the past and make a new step to think about future :) Hehe. About searching Prince in my life, lol. Stop it okay hahahah. Ika tk patut cari dulu. 'cause biarlah Allah je yg berada di hati Ika. Kalau Ika lupakan-Nya, Ika lupa segala-gala. Ika tk nk jadi mcm dlu :((( Allah, Nabi Muhammad, family :') Tu je yg tertulis dlm diari Ika, dlm hati Ika :')) Tkde seorang pun boleh Ika percaya selain daripd family Ika sendiri. Ika sedar, family jelah satu satu yg kita boleh percaya. Walau byk mana kita gaduh, kita benci kt diorg ke ape ke, lamalama ke mereka juga kita balik :') Kan? Hihi I do love my familyyyyyyy. Ika akan cuba fight pertahankan cinta keluarga :')) Walau mcm mana sekali pun.
P.S: Semoga hari yang mendatang lebih bermakna dari hari sebelum. :')
No comments:
Post a Comment