Hey there, assalamualaikum guys :) It's already November. So hi there! Hm masuk je bulan November ni terus rasa berdebar. Waiting for another step to live. Cuti sekolah, 2 months. Then buka balik and say Hello to new life, form 4's life. Well I guess, Ika dah puas dgn form 3's life Ika ni kan? Puas dgn dugaan, air mata and segala yg Ika hadapi setiap hari. Ape yg Ika ckp kt previous post seems too immature lah. I feel like I still a kid. Tk matang and memalukan. Hm can I change everything?
Actually tujuan Ika nak tulis kt blog ni is about how myself looks like. It's terrible lah.. Ika betulbetul rasa mcm Ika ni hipokrit gila. Skrg ni dah byk sgt Ika tinggal solat and tk tunduk pada Allah. Kenapa ni? Kenapa tetiba nak berubah mcm tu sekali, ya Allah? Ika byk kali nasihat kt diri sendiri and marah and ask myself, "WHY YOU BEING LIKE THIS IKA?!?! Malunya" I feel like urghhh! And I'm being fake and ego. Depan orang Ika tunjuk Ika baik. Cakap dgn family baik padahal belakang Ika kasar bgai nak mati. Ika panas baran dgn family but bila depan orang, I'm being so nice and errghhh apekahh ini?!?!?!??! damn I hate myself. Sometimes I wonder, ni hasutan syaitan atau diri Ika sendiri?!? I get confused and blank with all these. Ini ke Ika yg sebenar? Hipokrit, berlakon, pretending and being so fake depan orang ramai? Tolonglah, Ika nak berubah.... Ika tkde sape nak cerita dah sebenarnya. But I know posting here wont change everything unless I get my butt off and take another step to change. InsyaAllah Ika akan cuba sedaya upaya nak berubah jadi baik untuk umi, family semua.. And for everyone.
Masalah Ika dgn Maira still tergantung mcm tu. Tkpelah Ika consider it as our end.. :)
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